We all think we're the busiest person we know.
Working moms think they're busier than stay at home moms...
"...what do you do all day at home?"
"...how can you not have time to cook/clean?"
"...I'm chasing kids all day, and you get 'me-time' when you're at work!"
"...I never sit down, and you get a cushy desk job!"
Really, our version of busy is relative. Because, as the famous saying goes, you only have to die and pay taxes. Other than that, you are responsible for your own activities, responsibilities, and schedule. So if you're over-scheduled and over-committed and feel like you should be committed, you only have yourself to blame.
When I was younger, my mom was a stay-at-home mom. I didn't know until just this past year that this wasn't a choice she made-- rather, it was made for her as a stipulation of the adoption agency that placed me with my parents. (Interesting, huh? Is that still status quo in adoptions today, anybody know?) I used to wonder what she did all day... obviously, she cooked, cleaned, and acted as my personal chauffeur. But I also secretly believed that she spent a good deal of time watching cartoons, playing on my Nintendo, and eating bon-bons.
Over the past several weeks, I've had a lot of time off to spend with G at home. I chased her non-stop around the living room. I dragged her kicking and screaming out of not one, but TWO public libraries. I most definitely did not eat bon-bons. I gladly went back to work after the first of the year with the stark realization that I could not survive as a stay-at-home mom.
And that's when it hit me...
Some people might find my life as a career-driven mom exhausting. But for me, it works. I do a great job of managing my time; in fact, time management is always the "skill" I put at the very top of my resume. I thrive under pressure, and do my best work when the clock is ticking. If I'm not busy, I'm bored. But for others, they may find a busy life boring... repetitive... monotonous. I do the same thing every day, it's just that the parts are a little different.
10 comments:
Nice "guest" post... I always find the SAHM vs. Working Mom debate interesting... I say, just do what works best for you and your family. Period.
I always find this debate interesting as well! Being a working mom that takes her baby to work sounds like a dream (and 95% of the time, it is!), but sometimes I feel like I'm playing both roles at the same time!
On a sidenote, I used to work at an adoption agency, and while I can only speak for Texas, it is not commonplace to require a parent to be home to adopt!
B, I just wanted to add that yes, it is unusual for adoption agencies to require mothers stay at home. That was 28 years ago, and I really do hope that times have changed and we are beyond that!!!
I never knew you worked at an adoption agency-- that's one of my dream jobs, as advocating for adoption is one of my passions!
~Elizabeth
I find the debate interesting as well. Tell me why you didn't include dads. Sexist much. psshhh....that's alright I see how it is.
I'll follow you anyway because Samantha threatened me if I didn't
D'OH am already following.
Alright...this is what I'll do. I'll unfollow
*done*
will follow again
Follower #666?
Holy shitskies...it's true...I AM THE DEVIL!!!!! LOL
I don't think I could ever afford to be a SAHM. Daycare is so expensive, it's a lose-lose situation. I was so desperate to figure out a way for us to afford having a child while we both worked that I thought about adoption. In NJ, if you adopt a baby or small child, they provide daycare until the child is six at a Dyfus-approved daycare center. My husband said no :(
what a great guest post. I totally relate. I could never be a SAHM.
Definitely an interesting debate. If you haven't read it, I recommend the book Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career Moms Face Off. There are some really great essays in there on the topic.
As for me, I just quit my job yesterday. I've been working from home for the past 5 months (my daughter is 8 months), which like B said, feels like you're playing both roles at the same time and is really not as great as it sounds once Hannah slowed up on the nursing and didn't need me as much. I was going to go back into the office 2 1/2 days a week and thought that sounded great, but since I've always hated my job anyway, I just quit. WHEW! What a relief!!! I'm going to try the SAHM thing for a bit and then try to pick up some freelancing work when I get bored.
Great guest post!
I hate when people say that they don't have any time. That just means they don't know how to schedule it properly.
I have to be doing things too, I feel useless when I just sit around.
Great guest post!! I love Elizabeth's blog!
I am not a mom yet, but I have no doubt that being a SAHM is one of the most difficult jobs that one can have! Personally, I'm going to have to work when I'm a mother because leaving my job would cut our income in half, so it will be interesting to see how I can juggle the two.
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