I was "googling" any antidotes there may be, to stop Bree from growing. I was watching her today, and just realizing that she really isn't a baby anymore. She's a toddler. She doesn't need me as much as she needed me, even six months ago. She is completely independent, and by nature, doesn't want my help with much. She's communicating with me through words now instead of cries and screams that at one point I had interpreted. When she's hungry, she says "I eats". When she's thirsty, she says "Juice". Sometimes I wish she would cry, just so I could pride myself in knowing what she wanted without any words. Now, the only time she cries is when she's upset, angry, or sad.
Parents usually have these moments on their child's birthday, but I'm having this moment a little sooner. It all started when I traded in the diaper bag for a mini-back pack, and traded in the sippy cup for a cup with a straw. I try to hold her as much as I can, because there will be a day when she won't even want me to touch her. It's almost time for potty training, and I can't believe how much I will miss changing her diaper. I won't miss how much diapers cost, but I will miss changing them.
I'm proud of the little girl she is becoming. She's beautiful, funny, and very sociable. I love her, and I love her toddler-ness. I do miss those baby coos and cahs though. Will I have another child? I haven't decided yet. At this moment, the answer is no. You can't keep having babies just to fulfill the loss you have when your child gets older. It's a sad/happy moment when you realize your child is getting older though. I'm excited for the future, but long for the past. Oh well, I guess there is no real medicine to stop your child from growing. From the moment we are born, we begin dying. It's sad, but true. I'm trying to enjoy every moment of her, because in a few months...she'll be different.
2 comments:
Awww, I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you it gets better, but when Monkey turned 5 I called my best friend in the middle of the night (it was literally 2 am). I thought I was going to need therapy! Then, just when I got a little better about it, he got a big boy hair cut and sent me on a crying jag.
All I can say is TAKE AS MANY PICTURES AS POSSIBLE-they'll never be that little again!
I have more pictures than anyone could ever imagine. I have been snapping pictures of her left and right since she came out of the womb! I miss her baby-ness, and being able to cradle her, and just stare at her while she's taking her bottle. It's so sad that it goes by so fast!
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