Thursday, April 30, 2009


Wal Mart was fresh out of bananas when we went grocery shopping on Monday. When I say fresh out of bananas, I mean fresh out of bananas. The whole entire banana stand was EMPTY! In a sense, it was kind of creepy. Nevertheless, that meant Bree would have nothing to eat for breakfast this week. I decided I'd start giving her some cereal. I eat Kashi cereal, because of all of the fiber in it. It's delicious and keeps me regular!

Ever since I started sharing with Bree, she has been taking massive poops! I am talking poops that smell up a room before it all gets settled into her diaper. Poops that you have to spray the whole house throughout with Oust Spray. Poops that you have to take out into the middle of nowhere and drop off because the smell is too horrible to place anywhere near the house, whether it be in the garbage can or not.

I hope that Wal Mart has plenty of bananas when comes time for groceries this week, because I'm not sure that I can handle any more of these poopy diapers! Kashi and Bree do not go together!

On a completely different note, my Mom called me today to tell me that my poor, 15 year old pekingese who has gone blind, fell into the pool today. This happens after I told them last week that they could not let Mercy (the dog) be outside without supervision anymore, because she will fall into the pool. Mom and Dad's neighbor heard Mercy barking, and could tell that it was a different bark. She went in their back yard and found that Mercy had fallen into the pool. Thank God for her, because I'm not sure our family could have handled another death. We've had Mercy for about 11 years now, and she's more or less a part of the family. We know her death isn't too far away, but death by drowning is not how you want your pet to die. Bless her.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Boiled peanuts + Ball Park = Summer time

Back to Normalcy...

Bree and I had been going non-stop since last Wednesday. When everything came to a crashing halt yesterday, we weren't really sure what to do with ourselves. We had nowhere to be, and nowhere to go. One would think that getting to have a day at home to rest after six whole days in and out of the car, dealing with a funeral and everything that entails, would be such a joyous occasion.

I have never felt more lonely and sad in all of my life.

I occupied my time with Bree during her waking hours, but when she went down for a nap...the emotions of the previous week seemed to slap me in the face. I thought frequently of my Grandmother, and often fought back tears. I don't like to cry, so I usually hold it all back until I can no longer in which case I break down into a pitiful, wet ball of tears. Usually by that time, everyone else has already become numb to grieving and seem to have gotten back to normal.

Which brings me to my next point: Normalcy

I never thought that I would crave normalcy so much, but I can't wait for my everyday routine to return to me and seem as comfortable to me as it once did. Oh to have the life of a child. Bree had absolutely no idea what was going on this past week, she just had fun. Nothing has changed to her.

Today's agenda includes but is not limited to:
Putting laundry away
Polishing all of the wooden furniture in my house
Unloading the dishwasher
Cleaning up my bedroom & Bree's
Trying not to worry about money

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Crazy Coupon Clipping Lady...

My Mom stocked me up with all kinds of coupons yesterday before I went grocery shopping. I got to use just a few, but I saved about 10 dollars on my total grocery bill. I thought that was pretty good to be a first time coupon user! I had a 1.00 off coupon for Pampers and a 1.00 off coupon for laundry detergent. I ended up getting a box of 96 diapers, and a 32 ounce bottle of laundry detergent for 23 dollars. That's pretty good if you knew the price of the diapers!

I was very excited, and am now even more motivated to get going on the coupon thing. If I can save money and slash my grocery bill in HALF, it is definitely worth it! I want to encourage you to start coupon shopping! Surprisingly enough, the cashiers get very excited when you pull out coupons too. They don't look at you like you are some tight wad, or a crazy coupon clipping lady. They enjoy it, and love it!

Here a couple of websites in which you can go and print out coupons: &

Try it out, and let me know what your results were.

Monday, April 27, 2009

The Neglected House...

Bree and I have been going non-stop since this past Wednesday. Two trips to North Carolina, and countless other trips to my Papa's house after Nanny died. Yesterday was Nanny's funeral, and I must say that the activities of the week caught up with me last night. When we got home, I realized how neglected my house had been. The floors need vacuuming, clothes need to be washed (I did somehow manage to get a load washed & dried in the midst of running in and out of the house), dishes need to be cleaned, and I need a shower. Not to mention the groceries that need to be bought. It's amazing all of the things that you do on a regular basis, and don't really realize how big of a deal it is when you all of the sudden stop doing those things. We did get rid of our dog at the most perfect timing, because he would have seriously been neglected all week long.

It feels like it has been years since I last sat down in front of the television and watched t.v. I haven't been able to enjoy any "me" time lately either. Today I won't be able to rest, because there are groceries to be bought and we are going back to Nanny's graveside today...but tomorrow...tomorrow we are staying at home and resting!

It has been such a long week. I'm both emotionally & physically exhausted. Laying your Grandmother to rest is never easy, but I know she'd be upset if she walked in my house and saw how messy everything was. So, for her...I will get this place back to being spick and span, because it's because of her that I am so anal about keeping things straight & clean.

I love you Nanny B., and I'll miss you and think of you every day for the rest of my life!

Friday, April 24, 2009


If I had been 20 minutes late, I would have missed my Grandmother take her last breath and pass onto her life in eternity with God. I had just gotten there with Bree, and my Dad began counting the number of seconds between Nanny's breathes. When they became longer, my Mom went and stood beside her, and as quick and easy as snapping fingers...Nanny died. It was easy with absolutely no struggle whatsoever. I was ready for her to go, because lingering on the way she was doing is no way for any person to live. I am comforted in knowing where she is tonight, but it doesn't take away the fact of how much I miss her. Nanny was in alot of ways, my bestfriend. I could pretty much talk to her about anything, and she always loved to show me off to people. The reason why all of this hurts so bad though, is because this shouldn't have happened to her.

It will be five years in September when my cousin attacked my Nanny. My Nanny raised him, and he had lived with them for the majority of his life. In his teen years he started to get into drugs, and at the time that he attacked my Nanny...he was under the influence of alcohol, Meth, and pain killers. When it was all said and done with, Nanny had bleeding on her brain. The doctors did a surgery on her in which she suffered a stroke during, and we were told that she'd never be anything more than a vegetable. Nanny was in a coma for almost week when we decided that we would take her off of life support. Most of the family had gathered at the hospital, and as we were saying our goodbyes, she began responding to us. It was a miracle that she ever woke up from that. Nanny never walked again, she lost the usage of her left arm, and her speech became slow...but we would have taken anything over her death.

She spent the first year, in and out of nursing homes. My Papa tried to bring her home, and take care of her himself, but he isn't in the best of health either. He had previously suffered from a heart attack, colon cancer, and throat cancer. Not to mention that he is stricken with arthritis. We finally found Nanny a pretty good nursing home in North Carolina, and that's where she has been until today. But Nanny suffered four and a half years because of something my cousin did. Had he not attacked her, she would be alive and well and enjoying Bree.

Her death today, is like having to go through losing her all over again. She was never herself again after the attack, and we all missed her greatly. But now, she's really gone. We can't talk to her, or go visit her. She's gone. It's so hard having to go through this again, and I feel so bad for my Mom and my Papa. I know that if Nanny could, she would smack all of us, tell us to shut up and quit crying. She wouldn't want us missing her so much, and I know that she is in a much better place...but you can't help but miss a person like my Nanny.

I love you Nanny, and I always have. I will forever miss you, and I can't wait until that day that I get to see you again. I love you.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Long Day...

I had just popped in my Pilates DVD and pressed play when my Mom called me this morning. My Grandmother who has been in a nursing home for almost four years had taken a turn for the worse in the overnight hours. My Mom wanted to know if I'd go with her to the nursing home. I definitely wanted to, so I got out of my workout clothes, through on a pair of blue jeans, rushed to get Bree dressed, and somehow got out the door in 20 minutes.

It takes an hour and a half to get to the nursing home, so it was a long and curvy ride up there. Bree decided that she would pick today to get car sick and vomited strawberry Poptart all over herself and the car seat. When we got to Brevard, Mom stopped in at K-Mart and I ran in to purchase Bree some new clothes. The really ironic part of all of this was that before I left my house my inner Samantha said, "Maybe you should get her a change of clothes." I'm not sure why I didn't just grab a change of clothes, because when I got to K-Mart I purchased a 10 dollar outfit. K-Mart does not have cheap clothes. Thankfully the jeans I got for Bree were on sale for four dollars, but they were too short on her. I had to grab a 12 month pair of jeans, when length wise, she wears 18 month jeans. She ran around looking like she was wearing high waters all day long. I was a bit embarrassed, because I dress my kid pretty good. I made sure that I explained to everyone that she vomited all over her other, nice clothes...and that I had to run in K-Mart and buy her some new clothes.

These were the least of my worries though. When we finally got to the nursing home, my Grandmother looked nearly gone. The nurses were crying which got my Mom crying, which got my Papa crying, which got me crying...they told us that they didn't think my Grandmother would make it through the day. They brought in a bunch of chairs, and a snack table complete with Little Debbie Oatmeal Cakes, Peanut Butter crackers, Coffee and Tea. My Grandmother did look very bad. Her eyes were fixated on the ceiling, she could barely speak. They had her on oxygen, because her oxygen level had dropped. We kind of thought that any minute she would draw that last breath.

Oddly enough, she seemed to begin to improve. Her fever had seemed to drop and she went from not responding at all, to responding. Bree and I stayed at the nursing home for a good 5 hours, and I was very proud of Bree for her good behavior, but by 5:30 I was ready to come home. I just spoke to my Mom a few minutes ago and she said that things are still the same. So, will my Grandmother go to be with Lord today? I'm not sure, and only God knows that...but I do think that it will be soon. I know that it sounds bad, but I'm ready for her to go. She has suffered to long, and the way she she is living now, it's no way to live. Heaven is a much better place for her now.

Needless to say, it has been a very long, emotionally exhausting day. My bed and it's sheets never looked so good. You may be wondering why I am acting so light hearted about all of this. It's because I have to. It's what I do. I cope with pain, and sadness by laughing and making jokes. Alot of people think that I am heartless, but different people have different ways with how they cope & laughter is my way. Humor helps me get by.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Evidently there is a coupon phenomena happening in the Country. You may have seen Coupon Mom on Opera, or you may have friends and family who are using their coupons religiously now. My Mom has gone absolutely crazy with coupons. She has a 3 ring binder with baseball card holders, holding her coupons. Sometimes she gets things free with her coupons, like three bottles of the Vitamin Water. She paid 80 cents for a pack of Oreo's the other day. She's getting 5 bags of groceries for only 20 bucks. She has cut her grocery bill by more than half.

I remember when she first started doing the coupon thing, and I didn't give it much thought, but now that she has been doing this for a few months now...I'm getting kind of interested. Paul took a pay cut at his job, and I am over here pinching pennies. We don't spend much on groceries a week, but we don't get much either. Just enough food for supper mostly. I decided that I would start doing the coupon thing as well. How great would it be to get more food for less money?? I am kind of getting excited about the whole process, but I am definitely going to need my Mom's guidance to get started.

Here are a few things that I know to do to help get started:
1. Clip Coupons from the Sunday paper's ads
2. You can join websites such as & and print coupons straight for your computer!
3. For the Mom's who buy diapers, go to that brands website and join. They'll send you samples & coupons!!
4. Plan your meals around the coupons and sales ads that you get from the Sunday paper

I plan on sitting down with my Mom this weekend and getting my stuff together. I'm ready to do this, because pinching pennies is not fun. Not only that...I am going to run out of things to sell in order to make a little bit of cash. This weekend I am having a yard sale, and last weekend we sold our dog. I think it's a good idea for anyone, whether you are pinching pennies or not, to do the coupon thing. You can take the money you save, and put it towards a savings account, or a college fund for your kids, or toward your vacation.

If you have any questions about all of this, feel free to ask me, and then I'll ask my Mom, and then I'll get back with you =)

Monday, April 20, 2009

Nyquil, the nightime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, why in the hell is the room spinning, medicine...

So, ever since Bree passed her blessed little Cold onto me, I haven't been able to sleep. Well, on Saturday night I decided that I would take a Benadryl before bed. I think that was the first night in a while that I slept so good, and so soundly. I don't recall waking up one time in the middle of the night, and that is not normal for me. On Sunday, Paul decided he was going to go buy some Nyquil. He took two, I took two, and we went to bed.

Never will I ever, ever, EVER take Nyquil EVER again. I woke up several times in the night, and wondered why in the hell the room was spinning and why I felt like I was falling. When this morning finally rolled around, I was still feeling a bit dizzy and out of whack. Getting out of bed was definitely not an option. I felt worse than the last time I had an alcohol hang over. In fact, taking a shot of whiskey to get rid of my cold would have been smarter than Nyquil. What in the hell is in that stuff?? Why did they take the alcohol out of Robitussin and keep Nyquil on the shelf? Nyquil is a pill popper's dream!

I don't like feeling the way I felt, and I don't think that I'll be popping an Nyquil gel caps any time soon. God bless the person who has to take Nyquil all year 'round. I now better understand Saturday Night Live's parody of Nyquil. It was called Hibornol and it knocked you out for an entire season.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

I haven't Disappeared...

I haven't disappeared, although, this past week would have been a wonderful time to do so! I went nearly a week without a computer. Talk about withdrawals. I began resorting to caveman behavior. It was really, very scary.

On top of not having a computer, Bree had a very bad cold that started last Friday and lasted until this past Wednesday when she graciously passed the sickness on to me. Her nose is still running, but she's 100 percent herself again. I am thankful for that. Sick Bree scares me. I, however, still have the Cold and can't seem to get rid of it.

This past week we also decided to get rid of our puppy. Tucker, the Toy Poodle, is too hyper for us. I can't give him all of the attention that he wants, and he barks (or should I say 'yaps') continously. I put him on Craigs List yesterday, and am meeting a woman today who is interested in him. He's a sweet dog, but he's too much for us at this time. I want a lazy dog, because that's all I have ever owned. I don't know what to do with a hyper dog.

I just wanted to give a quick update on what happened to me for a week. I going to revamp my blog soon, so watch out for that! How was everyone's week?

Thursday, April 09, 2009

My Happy Place

When I resort to my happy place, it isn't on a mountain top or in a meadow, it's a walk down the beach with the ocean breeze moving through my hair. It's sitting in a beach chair, with my head laid back, feet in the sand, eyes closed, and the sound of the waves crashing into the shore. It's the sea mist sticking to my skin, and the sun kissing my cheeks. It's the feeling I get when my freshly showered skin meets the sticky ocean air. It's the freedom that comes with the night sky. The smell of hot dogs and french fries coming from Sam's Corner. The sound of kids playing games in the arcade. The sound of a band playing at the end of the Kingfisher Pier. It's a walk down Ocean Boulevard, and remembering all of the memories made at the Pavilion. It's taking a ride down to Krispey Kreme and getting a dozen donuts (two of them raspberry filled for me). It's listening to bad 80's music, with the windows down and the ocean in the distance. It's laughing, and being care free. It's re-living all of those childhood memories that were created on the coast of South Carolina. It's my paradise, my happy place.

American Idol, the final 7...

So, I probably should have started doing this a while back, but it's not too late to start now. Every Thursday after the American Idol Results Show, I'm going to give my two cents about what I think about who got voted off. I'm going to start with last week, because, well, I liked Megan Joy!

Megan Joy
I liked Megan, because she sings the type of music that I listen to. Not many people like that type of music, but evidently there are quiet a bit who do because she stayed in past the top 10! Maybe it was because she was "hot", I don't know. Nevertheless, I definitely think Lil' Rounds should have been kicked off last week. I have not been "wowed" nor have I voted for her in a few weeks. Oh well, I have always said that AI finalists do better in the music world rather than the winners. That stays true for all but Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, and Jordan Sparks.

Scott Macintyre
I have never liked him from the beginning, and I think the reason why he got to stay on so long is because he was able to play the "sympathy" card. I don't care if he's "legally blind" or not, the man can't sing or perform! I was so thankful when America voted him off last night. I think it was about time, and I am disappointed in the judges for blowing sunshine up his butt since he's been in the competition. Take his blindness away, and they would have torn him up like any other contestant on American Idol. I'm glad he's going home, and I definitely won't be missing him at all.

Next Week...
I am hoping that next week, we can say goodbye to Lil' Rounds. She hasn't stood out to me, and I feel like she sings like she talks. She screams the songs, and I haven't heard a good performance by her in quiet a while. Maybe she can redeem herself, but she has continued to say that she's gonna do better week after week, and I have yet to see any improvements.

My top 5
Danny, Allison, Matt, Kris, Anoop

Yes, I DO NOT LIKE Adam...even though he could very possibly win this competition.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009


When Bree was born, we used Huggies as our choice for diapers. It didn't take us too long to figure out though that Huggies leaked...and they leaked bad. So, we switched to Pampers. I especially liked the switch, because Pampers seemed to be relatively cheaper. We were even more excited about our new choice of diapers when they NEVER leaked (except for when the diapers got really full).

We do most of our grocery shopping at Wal-Mart just because of how much cheaper stuff is there, but oddly enough, their diaper selections are not that great. They didn't even have diapers in HUGE packages. Tey highest they went to were 80 diapers, and they were charging 25.00 for those. One day, while I was in Target (my favorite place in the world), I had a look at their diapers and was ecstatic when I found that they sold 100 diapers for 20 dollars!! From that point on, we began purchasing our Pampers from Target.

Well, today when I went to Target to get Bree some diapers I noticed that the box of diapers looked smaller. Then, I noticed that instead of 100 diapers in the box, there were only 96. I checked the price, and saw that it was still the same, 20.00. That's when I got mad. What the hell kind of difference is FOUR DIAPERS GONNA MAKE??? If Pampers is going to take four diapers out of my usual 100, then they better chop four dollars off of the price!

I was highly upset with the Pampers company. They have been getting my business for nearly two years, and for nearly two years I have been buying the same package of diapers for the same price and then they try to slip a fast one by me. They probably don't think anyone will notice four diapers. Well, I noticed and it didn't make me very happy.

Monday, April 06, 2009


Here are a few things that are M.I.A in my life right now:

DVD Remote:
It went missing a few weeks ago, and I have yet to see it since. My best guess of what happened to it is that Bree took it and either placed it in some obscure hiding place, or tossed it in the garbage can without us knowing. I hope that it is hiding in some random place, but if by some chance it got placed in the garbage, it's probably lying in a land fill somewhere now. I've never been able to figure out how to sync a universal remote with a DVD player, so until we find the real remote or I buy a universal one...I'll just have to settle with pushing buttons on the DVD player.

My Computer:
Well, it's not M.I.A yet, but it will be soon. Evidently we got the model of the MacBook whose battery is flawed. It can only be disconnected from the charger for 15 minutes before it cuts off. Not normal. Also, it won't burn c.d's. Also, not normal. So, we have to take it to the Mac place in downtown. I'll be without computer or internet for nearly a week. Not cool, and I'm not too sure how I will be able to cope.

Evidently coffee makes my hands swell. I'm not sure if it's the coffee, the creamer, or the sugar that I put into my coffee, but I have to figure out which one it is. I'm not sure how it could be the creamer, because it has nothing in it but potassium and some carbs. Sugar? It's never made me swell before. I'll have a hard time giving up coffee, but I definitely have to cut back. 8 cups a day isn't working.

So, that's just a few of the things that are going M.I.A in my life.

Friday, April 03, 2009

Stupid People Behind the Wheel.

Three years ago I was in a pretty bad car accident. I was sitting at a stop light when a 1996 Ford F-150 hit me in the back going 55 miles per hour (at the point of impact). Every single moment of the car accident still lives fresh in my mind. I was 19 years old, had only been driving for a few months, this was my first car accident, and it was a bad, bad car accident. I remember not knowing exactly what had happened when I got out of the car. I was disoriented, shaking, and the only thing I knew to do was call my Dad. I remember standing on the curb, waiting on my Dad to get there, looking at my car that no longer had a back end, and still trying to piece together what exactly had just happened. My Dad insisted that I go to the hospital. They put me on a back board, strapped a neck brace around my neck, and wheeled my outside to the ambulance. I remember telling the paramedics that my purse was in my car, and to make sure my Dad got it out. As I laid there in the ambulance, I was beginning to understand a bit more of what happened, but still it wasn't all clear. To this day, I still remember how I felt, when the panic and trauma started to set in. I remember feeling like a victim, and being angry, scared, and sad all at the same time. I remember how my body felt, how my head felt, and how everything looked different to me after that accident.

I get pretty tense after I get behind the wheel of a car now, and I get nervous every time I get around alot of cars. I passed a wreck today that involved about four or five cars. It looked like a pretty serious car accident. I couldn't even tell what two of the cars were, there were 2 ambulances and a couple of fire trucks. Traffic was backed up for a couple of miles, and when I finally got to see the damage of the cars involved...a wave of panic came over me. I started to shake, and cry. I didn't know any of the people in that car accident, but I knew how they felt and all at once the way I felt that Monday morning hit me again. I said a prayer for the people involved, and tried to calm myself back down.

I know it sounds like I'm whacked out or something, but it's something that I can't help. People just don't drive like they used to. They take serious chances that they shouldn't take. Not too much further down the road, past the wreck, a BMW veered into traffic almost right into me. I had to slam on my breaks to keep her from hitting me. I laid on my horn, yelled some obscenities, and wished that she had seen that wreck just a couple of miles down the road. People are in a hurry, and instead of waiting a couple of seconds on a car to pass, they pull out into traffic, expecting the rest of us to stop for them. People don't use turn signals, or when they do, it's after they've come to a complete stop in front of the road they are turning down. People drive too fast. Today, I also witnessed a man pull into a turning lane who had a green light, and then pull back into the lane that had a red light, and jump in front of everyone else. Why? He didn't feel like sitting at a red light.

I feel like I should do something about the way people drive. I want people to see what they're doing, to see how they are driving, to see how many lives they are putting in danger just because they can't be patient. I have enough going on in life to stress me out, and make me angry...driving doesn't need to be one of those.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

April Fools

I personally do not like April Fools Day. I think it's sick that we have this "holiday" dedicated to scaring people, pissing people off, and giving false hope or excitement all for the sake of a stupid prank. People don't generally pull pranks on me. I think it's because I don't get enthusiastic about anything, nor do I believe anything that comes out of anyone's mouth. I'm not too good at pulling pranks myself. I usually end up laughing, or giving it away before I can even start the prank!

I think that perhaps the worst "prank" or "joke" anyone can pull is telling everyone they are pregnant, when indeed they are not. One of my Facebook "friends" posted as their status (at 12:01 this morning) that they were pregnant. Over the course of the morning she received more than 10 comments congratulating her only to find out that they were being pranked. What is the point in making people feel stupid??

I may be sucking all the "fun" out of April Fools Day, but don't we go through enough from to day to day without having our "friends" and "family" make us feel like idiots??

My Facebook status this morning read: "Samantha thinks that anyone who plays an April Fools joke is going straight to hell."

Okay, well, I don't really think that, but I mean really...what's the point?