Wednesday, February 24, 2010

3 Years: The Wedding Anniversary Post

I know that on Wednesdays I usually feature a super cute picture of my otherwise demonic 2 year old daughter, but today is mine & Paul's 3rd Wedding Anniversary and I felt it necessary to let you all know a little about us. Our story. How we met, and how fast things went from the very first date. About our ups and downs, and the things that we've been through together both good and bad. This is a testament of how two people who are meant to be together, get through things that other couples never thought possible. This is the story of Paul & Samantha.

I never will forget the moment that I first laid eyes on him. He sat two rows over from me in English class at the University we both were attending. He was a freshman in college, and I was a senior in high school taking college courses for college credits. He had shoulder length, dirty blonde hair, he was thin and looked freakin' sexy in his blue jeans. He was laid back, and calm. I was immediately attracted to him, his demeanor, and those dang sexy blue jeans. Normally, I wouldn't just walk right up to someone and start talking. I didn't initiate conversations, and I generally kept to myself, but there was something about him that just brought me out of my shell. Maybe it was the thought that if I didn't exert myself, I would never get a chance to be with him. However, at the time that we met, Paul had a girlfriend and well, I had a stupid, crazy, abusive, controlling boyfriend. Shortly after meeting Paul though, I broke things off with him. Meeting Paul gave me the courage to get rid of something in my life that should have never been there in the first place. Still, it wasn't time for me and Paul...yet.

Spring Semester passed, and Summer started. I had been single since the previous Fall, and I was having fun just doing things that single people can do. I was lonely though, and I thought about Paul a lot off and on. I needed someone, and wasn't having any luck with a guy who wanted me. Most guys looked at me like their little sister, and couldn't think of me in any other way. So, one Sunday morning at church, I broke down and gave everything over to God. I knew that God knew who I was going to be with, and when & where that happened was all up to Him. Not me. I left church that morning with a sense of peace. I knew that the very moment I stopped looking...that special guy would find me.

That very next Tuesday I was on Myspace (that's when Myspace was cool & Facebook hadn't quiet caught on yet), looking around at friends and searching for friends I had gone to school with. I can't even remember how I even came across Paul on Myspace, but when I did...everything I had felt for him when we first met came rushing back to me. I friend requested him....and waited. A couple of hours later, he accepted my friend request and I decided to send him a message. Paul claims he didn't know who I was at first, and only accepted my friend request because he thought I was hot. Go figure, this was my profile picture at the time:
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How sexy are those oompa loompa sunglasses?

Anyway, somehow or another we exchanged phone numbers, and had a date set up for the following Friday, June 23 (which also happens to be his birthday). Our first date was at Starbucks. I don't even remember the drinks we ordered, I just remember sitting there, totally enthralled with this boy. I was in love, and I knew that he was it. From that very first date, our relationship went into high gear. Things between us went fast, which is how I assume they are supposed to go when you meet the one.

In mid-August, things between us got kind of strained. He wasn't coming around much, and was hardly calling me. When we were together, he wasn't completely there. I felt distanced for him. Cut off. I knew that there was something going on with him, but I wasn't sure exactly what. Feeling rejected, and overwhelmed I sank into one of the lowest points in my life. I withdrew myself from everyone and everything. I wouldn't go to work, my Parents and I were arguing a lot, and it seemed that the only thing I wanted was Paul. That's it. For two and a half months I was wallowing in the deepest depression I have ever been in. I was in a dark place. A place I never want to be in ever again. But on November 15, just five days after my birthday, every question I had about what was wrong with Paul, were answered. I had gotten off of work, and Paul asked me to meet him at his Mom's house. I had no idea why, or what was going on. I just thought we were going to hang out over there. Until, Paul and his Mom had me sit down on the couch and they proceeded to tell me something. My heart began racing, and my palms got sweaty. They were about to tell me something bad, and I had no idea what it was. That's when Paul looked at me and said, "For the last six months, I've been addicted to cocaine."

My whole world crashed down around me. I felt betrayed, relieved, hurt, and broken hearted all at the same time. Betrayed because six months was the extent of how long we had been dating, relieved because I finally knew what was going on, hurt because he had lied to me for six months, and broken hearted because I loved him so much. The next few weeks were full of experiences that I wish to never experience again. I had to sit with Paul through withdrawals, and rehab. I had to make sure he was where he said was. I had to make sure he was getting off and staying off of the drugs. He had two slip ups with Marijuana after the confession, and after the second time I seriously considered just leaving him. I didn't know if I wanted to have to deal with this addiction for the rest of our lives together. I didn't know if he could seriously just stop what he had been doing. Stopping it all was an evident struggle for him, and I didn't understand why he couldn't just stop. I didn't understand the addiction. I lack the addictive personality. I didn't know if I could even help him through it. Leaving him would have been the most obvious decision. It would have been what any other girl would have done when faced with this issue.

But I didn't leave. How could I just leave the person I loved more than anything else in the world at the moment when he need me the most?

I stuck by him, and together we got through the dark place we had both been in. Paul has told me that this is when he realized that he really, truly loved me. Our damaged relationship was quickly being healed. For the first time, I was beginning to see that boy that I fell in love with in the old Donan Building at the University. For once, it was just Samantha and Paul; not Samantha, Paul & Cocaine.

Nearly a month had passed since his drug confession. Our lives seemed to have gotten better, and back to normal despite the fact that by this time, we had both dropped out of school. As Christmas neared, we found out that I was pregnant; a moment that I will never forget. I was scared to death, but not because I thought I couldn't handle being a Mother. But because I was afraid of disappointing my Parents. Thankfully though, my Parents love me to no end. They told us that we needed to make a decision on whether or not we wanted to get married. They didn't push us in either direction, but rather told us to make the decision.

Initially, Paul and I had planned to get married in October of that next year, but now that there was going to be a baby...we decided that waiting would be pointless. My Mom and I put a wedding together in a week, and it was every bit of the wedding I had always dreamed of. I never wanted a big snazzy wedding, but rather just a small intimate setting and itt was just that. Small, intimate, and sweet. I never had any doubts about us. I walked down the aisle with confidence, and I couldn't wait to get my life started with him.

It's hard to believe that it's been three years since that day. At times it feels like it's been forever, but at other times it seems like it hasn't been long at all. Like most marriages, there have been fights and times that I just wanted to quit. But when you love someone unconditionally, and have been through so many things together, throwing it all away on some stupid fight seems kind of...well...stupid. I can hardly stand to imagine my life without him, and I can't bare the thought of ever losing him. I am so thankful to have married such a wonderful guy, and although he pisses me off more times than I can count...I will never, ever stop loving him.

Here's to three years, and here's to three more years plus one hundred. Happy Anniversary Paul. I love you.

Here are some pictures from the wedding:

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Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Here are some pictures of us from our Honeymoon:

Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic

P.S: Excuse the crappy wedding pictures. When you put together a wedding in less than a week, there's no time to hire a photographer. Oh & notice my Preggo tummy in the picture of me from our honeymoon?

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StarGazer722 said...

Y'all have such a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing. Happy Anniversary!

singedwingangel said...

Ahh don't ya love when God drops us straight in the middle of exactly what we thought we wanted.. and How like God to allow you to see that HE is your source not some man, thouhg sometimes it does not feel that way. Your calm personality is exactly what Paul needed at just he right moment.. God placed you in his life so he couls see what it could be like without the mind altering drugs..and it looked wonderful

Geezees Custom Canvas Art said...

beautiful story!

Ian said...

Ok you guys (you and Lisa Marie) are killing me with these awesome posts. Alright, off to read the post and comment yet again!

Ian said...

Wow. What a story. Not really sure what else to say other than the fact it was well written and I hope you

"...stay together from now until the end of the world."

-Ennis (quote)

Melissa said...

Happy 3-year anniversary! That is a remarkable story!

It sounds like y'all are a great couple! And you definitely "produced" cute offspring!

Shell said...

What an amazing story!

Happy anniversary!

Katherine said...

I think the wedding pictures are great.

What an amazing story you have! Thanks for sharing. Happy Anniversary.

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

That is a really great story - thank you for sharing.

When I met my husband he was 6 years sober. He was huge into drugs. He is 10 years sober now.

It is kinda funny, now, because I was such a gooddy-gooddy and then the love of my life turned out to be a coke addict!

Thankfully, he hasn't ever had any slip-ups, but I will be there no matter what!

Brandy said...

wow. that's some heavy stuff. and for you being so young. i'm glad that you were there to help him. I think your wedding photos are pretty good for no photographer. happy anniversary and have a fun weekend

Kristy said...

Happy Anniversary!

Nathan said...

I am a friend of Paul's, we grew up together here in TN, ever since I started keeping up with your blog posts I have learned a few things that I never knew. I did not know he had a drug problem, but I'm so glad to hear that you were there for him during those dark times. We had some great times when we were younger. Memories I will always cherish. It's hard to believe he is now Married with a child, seems like time flies by so fast. Wishing you both a Happy Anniversary!

Confessions From A Working Mom said...

Your dress was gorgeous! I'm impressed you pulled everything together so quickly :)

What an amazing story of redemption and forgiveness. You two definitely have a great story to share!

Confessions From A Working Mom

MrsM said...

Happy anniversary! Thank you for sharing your story =)

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

Happy Anniversary!! Hope you stick together through thick and thin for many more years. :)

Kiera said...

thanks for sharing! beautiful!

modg's third anniversary is today too. i just thought that was funny.

Kato said...

Wow, this brought a tear to my eye. You two really have been through so much together. And you are not like other girls, you are right. To be young and to have to go through something like that, to help him through it, makes you an amazing woman.

Congrats on your anniversary, and thank you for your beautiful story. I hope you guys have the best weekend ever!

Shandal said...

Great story and told very well. You guys sure did go through a lot in the beginning. I love happy endings though! :) Happy Anniversary!

Kasandria said...

Happy Belated Anniversary! LOVE your blog BTW too cute!

Rebekah said...

"How could I just leave the person I loved more than anything else in the world at the moment when he need me the most?"

I am sobbing. Thank goodness there is a roll of toilet paper sitting here on the desk. Stand by him. Hold him up, girl. Encourage him.

Thanks for sharing your incredible story!

Ashley S said...

Beautiful story! Congrats! Y'all are a very cute couple :)

Ally said...

Hi! Following from Daily Dose. Happy Anniversary! Lovely story!

Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing

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