Friday, March 19, 2010

Dear Idiot Drivers...

Today, I'm linking up with Foursons for Letter of Intent Friday. I had a terrible case of road rage yesterday, and am taking today to write all of the idiot drivers I encountered.

Foursons


Dear Idiot Drivers of the South,

Yesterday afternoon I set out to visit my 83 year old Grandmother, just as I do each and every Thursday. Since our move last Summer, the seemingly short drive to her house (20 minutes), has now turned into a much longer one (35 minutes). I have to face traffic, every Thursday, bad traffic that YOU have created. It doesn't have to be bad. YOU make it bad.

For instance, speed limits. You CAN go 5 miles over the speed limit. You WILL NOT get pulled over. You DON'T have to keep your speedometer between the speed limit and fives miles under. It's pointless, it gets on my nerves and you WILL cause accidents that way.

Next, just take your stupid foot off of the brake! It is not necessary to tap it every few seconds. How are the cars behind you supposed to know when you are seriously braking, if you are constantly tapping the brakes? I mean really, do you want to get hit?

When you make a turn, you DO NOT have to take a whole 100 seconds to get into the turning lane. Just a quick swift of the wheel, and you're there! It doesn't require a lot of brakes, especially if there is no one in the turning lane you are getting into. I almost hit the corner of your back bumper yesterday for this very reason, and no...I would not have stopped. I would have kept going, because all I wanted to do was get over into the middle lane and you wouldn't drive any faster to allow me to do that. You. Stupid. Idiot.

Also, the traffic lights do eventually change from red to green, and it is in your best interest to pay attention. I will lay down on my horn. Don't try me. You made me sit through two different traffic lights yesterday, while you barely made it through them, because you weren't paying attention when the other dozen cars around you started moving. I was NOT happy about this. I may have even let a cuss word slip, at that last traffic light you left me sitting through.

And last, but not least, STAY IN YOUR LANE! How hard is that? I mean really. There are lines in the road for a reason. Those are lane markers! They mark the difference between MY lane and YOUR lane. Get off the cell phone, quit texting, stop changing the radio station, and just freaking DRIVE

Never in my life have I ever been as stressed out as I was yesterday when I finally got home from visiting my Grandmother. You Idiot drivers literally caused me instance after instance in the traffic, and by the time I got off my exit...I was suffering from chest pains. I mean really; there is absolutely no reason at all to drive the way you drive. You are NOT the only drivers on the road, and I demand to know the name of the officer who granted you a drivers license. Evidently, he/she was as big as an idiot as you are. GET OFF THE ROAD!


With Hate,
Samantha



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14 comments:

Melissa said...

Some drivers are terrible. Drives me crazy. Sometimes, I wish it was just me out there on the road alone. Things would be much safer and i could get to where I'm going much quicker. Stupid people.

Sam said...

Amen to that. I love driving. I hate the other drivers. The words that fly out of my mouth while I'm driving.. sheesh.

Ian said...

HAHAHAHA!!!!! Sounds like you need to link up with Throat Punch Thursday!

http://www.irunwithscissors.ca/files/Throat_Punch_Thursday1012.html

Lisa Marie said...

I al soooooooooo with you on this. I was working in a salon a few years back and my station was in the front window, because I rocked.
Anyway some elderly woman, a regular was pulling up and instead of braking she hit the accelorator and plowed right through the plate glass window into my station. I am glad I was shampooing somebody. She would have killed me and my client. She begged us not to call the cops, which we had to for insurance and the lady should not be driving. She told us she got confused.

Katherine said...

Oh, I feel your pain. The worst is Sunday mornings when I'm trying to go to the grocery store....Makes me want to scream!

Brandy said...

i have a stupid work commute everyday. going to work and going home. with other dumb drivers in my way. every stinking day

Joe Cap said...

Amen all the way. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Shell said...

OMG, I get the worst road rage. Drivers make me crazy.

P.S. I'm kind of link crazy and if I can link up something I've already written somewhere, I do. This fits perfectly with Julie @ foursons letters of intent Friday. ;) myfourboys.net Not that you have to, just sharing.

Salt said...

Do we live in the same place?
This is hilarious and I know it's oh so true also. You know what else I love? When you're driving and the road will curve to one direction or the other and the person in front of you feels the need to put on their turn signal. As if there is any other direction to go in.

People are stupid.

Foursons said...

Ugh, bad drivers make me want to run them down and poor gasoline all over them. OK not really, but a really stern talking to for sure. I think it should be required to renew your liscense with a driver's test every 10 years. Just to make sure you still know how to drive. Of course than I'd be yelling at the DMV but still.

Thanks for linking up! I hope next week's trip to see Grandma goes much smoother.

Bendigo said...

I love to gripe about other drivers...You said it all and you said it well :)

Kudos...

terri said...

I'm working from home these days so you'd think I'd be a teeny bit more patient when I randomly do get stuck in traffic, but NOPE! My road rage has been TERRIBLE ever since I got pregnant. The fact that my lovely little daughter screams most of the time that she is strapped into her car seat makes traffic even more intolerable. I just want to GET THERE so the screaming will stop!!

So yeah, I sympathize. I think that's what I was trying to say :)

ASBLACKASOBAMA said...

Are they really that bad in the south? I'm from Southern California.... I've always thought we had the worst drivers out here....

Kato said...

HAHAHA! And this is why I am happy I do not drive. Although it is possible to experience walk rage. Believe me. In a city this big, it CAN happen.

I hope your drive this week is easier girl...

xoxo