Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday

I know that I have already done a Wordless Wednesday for the day, but I was attracted to this brand spankin' new blog carnival that Shell from Things I Can't Say has started up. Pour Your Heart Out is where you pick a topic, any topic, and express your honest feelings/opinions about it. I think it's nice to have one day dedicated to seriously express yourself about a certain topic that you feel strongly about. So, if you want...just pick up the button below, and join in on the new Pour Your Heart Out blog carnival!

Today, Shell was talking about a post she had written a week or so ago, when her husband was in a pretty bad car accident. Thank God he was okay, but she was reminded of quickly things can change and how much she loved him. She shared with everyone about how their marriage had not always been perfect, and was surprised to find how most people had the same experience with their marriage. It made me think about my own marriage.

When Paul and I got married, I am almost willing to bet that there were people putting down money on how long we would last. Some probably said 6 months, others a year. I don't know any of this for a fact, but I do know how people think. Consider the circumstances we got married in. I was pregnant, and had only dated Paul for six months. Let's face it, statistics don't even give us much of a chance, much less judgmental people. I'm a little sensitive to this fact.

Most of the time, I feel like I need to act like my marriage is perfect. If I even hint that Paul and I have been fighting a little, or that something about Paul drives me crazy...I feel like people will start betting more money on how much longer until we file the papers. I don't think that this is true for everyone I know, but I have acquaintances that I know would love to see me and my marriage fail.

My marriage isn't perfect. There have been times when I just think that there is no way we are going to make it; that maybe statistics are right. There have been times when Paul has gotten on my nerves so bad, I don't know how I could even sit in the same room with him. There have been times when he has made me so angry, hurt me so bad...that I have no idea why we even got married. But those are just times; they're not constant thoughts or feelings. No one has a perfect marriage, and people who aren't married, shouldn't be allowed to have an opinion on other people's marriage. Unless you are married, there is no possible way that you can express an opinion on a topic like marriage, without having experienced it. That would be like me having an opinion on what deep fried bull testicles taste like - I don't know, I've never had them.

So, today...I'm pouring my heart out. I want to let everyone know that my marriage isn't perfect, but I have never been more in love with anyone else in my life than I am with Paul. We're young, we're stupid, we have terrible tempers, but at the same time we love each other and care for each other enough...to keep working on our marriage. We have a beautiful, two year old daughter, who is the center of our world and we work together to make her the happiest little girl this world will ever see. We have grown up quiet a bit in the three small years that we have been married. I have found myself maturing in the way I handle things and say things, and he's picked up on all of the suttle hints I drop when I need a little bit of help. To me, the most important thing for me to remember, is to not forget the man I fell in love with. He's still there, he's just covered in a few new layers.


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16 comments:

Jenn @ South of Sheridan said...

Beautifully put! Found you from Shell's blog, and now I'm following :)

Brandy said...

very sweet. i think you have a lot of judgements when you marry young. I know - i was there and I don't recommend it to anybody! ha.

Shell said...

Got all teary reading this- because you know that I relate!

Thanks for linking up!

Lisa Marie said...

I have never heard of a perfect marriage. Who are these people adn can I kill them? hahaha....

purseblogger said...

Well said. I found you through Shell and am so glad I did.

Katherine said...

You are so right. No marriage is perfect and people who have never been married don't know what they're talking about.

Powdered Toast Man said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MrsM said...

There is no one in the world who is perfect-only someone who is perfect for you...hence the struggles in marriage.

As far as marrying young goes, it is hard and the truth is that most of the time it doesn't work-but rather than jumping to conclusions I think that everyone should stop with the judgment or, barring that, at least judge each individual couple as individuals not stereotypes.

Hubby and I have had our share of detractors because I was 16 and he was 19 when we got together and we still do-his mom seems as of yet unconvinced that we will stay together even though we celebrate 8 years this year. You just kind of have to shrug and take a special kind of enjoyment over watching them eat crow as the years go on.

Thanks for sharing =)

Kristin said...

No marriage is perfect...as long as there is true love you're ahead of the curve. I had a love fest for my hubs at my blog today too!

Melissa said...

So true. Marriage is work. It can be VERY hard work sometimes. Anyone who doesn't have "tough" times isn't being honest or has a weird, unhealthy marriage (in my opinion).

Helene said...

I really appreciate your honesty and willingness to share this with us.

Marriage is very hard work...I used to think it would be all sunshine and roses every day. But it's not like that at all. We have peaks and valleys...mostly valleys these days...but I find comfort in the fact that other people go through this as well. Makes me feel normal!

Julia said...

wow. so sweet. not many people can say they are that in love!! you guys are awesome

Jana said...

Its good to know that you and your hubby have managed to defy all the odds that were stacked against you and make this work.

I can only imagine the fears and doubts you must have felt initially but its wonderful that you have been able to overcome them…

Kitty Moore said...

Very well said - you go ahead and prove them all wrong! x

ASBLACKASOBAMA said...

No marriage is perfect! Stand up for your marriage! Very nice post.

Kato said...

This was so sweet Samantha. I am glad that you guys are willing to work on it, no matter the circumstances. Screw what everyone else thinks, you know how you feel deep down inside.

I am not legally married, but I am 'married' in my mind and heart. So I understand that sometimes times can be rough. But those times are NEEDED. How else are you going to iron out the kinks and learn about each other if there aren't any bumps in the road? If you come out on the other side still wanting to get into bed with that person at the end of every day, I say your foundation is strong.

THAT is what marriage means to me. Great post love!

xoxox