Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Back to Normalcy...

Bree and I had been going non-stop since last Wednesday. When everything came to a crashing halt yesterday, we weren't really sure what to do with ourselves. We had nowhere to be, and nowhere to go. One would think that getting to have a day at home to rest after six whole days in and out of the car, dealing with a funeral and everything that entails, would be such a joyous occasion.

I have never felt more lonely and sad in all of my life.

I occupied my time with Bree during her waking hours, but when she went down for a nap...the emotions of the previous week seemed to slap me in the face. I thought frequently of my Grandmother, and often fought back tears. I don't like to cry, so I usually hold it all back until I can no longer in which case I break down into a pitiful, wet ball of tears. Usually by that time, everyone else has already become numb to grieving and seem to have gotten back to normal.

Which brings me to my next point: Normalcy

I never thought that I would crave normalcy so much, but I can't wait for my everyday routine to return to me and seem as comfortable to me as it once did. Oh to have the life of a child. Bree had absolutely no idea what was going on this past week, she just had fun. Nothing has changed to her.

Today's agenda includes but is not limited to:
Putting laundry away
Polishing all of the wooden furniture in my house
Unloading the dishwasher
Cleaning up my bedroom & Bree's
Trying not to worry about money


Mother Mayhem said...

Sorry about the loss of your grandmother. HUG.

I still miss my Mamaw and Papaw, and they've been gone for awhile now.