Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Long Day...

I had just popped in my Pilates DVD and pressed play when my Mom called me this morning. My Grandmother who has been in a nursing home for almost four years had taken a turn for the worse in the overnight hours. My Mom wanted to know if I'd go with her to the nursing home. I definitely wanted to, so I got out of my workout clothes, through on a pair of blue jeans, rushed to get Bree dressed, and somehow got out the door in 20 minutes.

It takes an hour and a half to get to the nursing home, so it was a long and curvy ride up there. Bree decided that she would pick today to get car sick and vomited strawberry Poptart all over herself and the car seat. When we got to Brevard, Mom stopped in at K-Mart and I ran in to purchase Bree some new clothes. The really ironic part of all of this was that before I left my house my inner Samantha said, "Maybe you should get her a change of clothes." I'm not sure why I didn't just grab a change of clothes, because when I got to K-Mart I purchased a 10 dollar outfit. K-Mart does not have cheap clothes. Thankfully the jeans I got for Bree were on sale for four dollars, but they were too short on her. I had to grab a 12 month pair of jeans, when length wise, she wears 18 month jeans. She ran around looking like she was wearing high waters all day long. I was a bit embarrassed, because I dress my kid pretty good. I made sure that I explained to everyone that she vomited all over her other, nice clothes...and that I had to run in K-Mart and buy her some new clothes.

These were the least of my worries though. When we finally got to the nursing home, my Grandmother looked nearly gone. The nurses were crying which got my Mom crying, which got my Papa crying, which got me crying...they told us that they didn't think my Grandmother would make it through the day. They brought in a bunch of chairs, and a snack table complete with Little Debbie Oatmeal Cakes, Peanut Butter crackers, Coffee and Tea. My Grandmother did look very bad. Her eyes were fixated on the ceiling, she could barely speak. They had her on oxygen, because her oxygen level had dropped. We kind of thought that any minute she would draw that last breath.

Oddly enough, she seemed to begin to improve. Her fever had seemed to drop and she went from not responding at all, to responding. Bree and I stayed at the nursing home for a good 5 hours, and I was very proud of Bree for her good behavior, but by 5:30 I was ready to come home. I just spoke to my Mom a few minutes ago and she said that things are still the same. So, will my Grandmother go to be with Lord today? I'm not sure, and only God knows that...but I do think that it will be soon. I know that it sounds bad, but I'm ready for her to go. She has suffered to long, and the way she she is living now, it's no way to live. Heaven is a much better place for her now.

Needless to say, it has been a very long, emotionally exhausting day. My bed and it's sheets never looked so good. You may be wondering why I am acting so light hearted about all of this. It's because I have to. It's what I do. I cope with pain, and sadness by laughing and making jokes. Alot of people think that I am heartless, but different people have different ways with how they cope & laughter is my way. Humor helps me get by.


Bottles Barbies And Boys said...

My deepest sympathies go out to you. Maybe soon she will be pain free and have joy in Gods presence.
Take care and stay strong!