If I had been 20 minutes late, I would have missed my Grandmother take her last breath and pass onto her life in eternity with God. I had just gotten there with Bree, and my Dad began counting the number of seconds between Nanny's breathes. When they became longer, my Mom went and stood beside her, and as quick and easy as snapping fingers...Nanny died. It was easy with absolutely no struggle whatsoever. I was ready for her to go, because lingering on the way she was doing is no way for any person to live. I am comforted in knowing where she is tonight, but it doesn't take away the fact of how much I miss her. Nanny was in alot of ways, my bestfriend. I could pretty much talk to her about anything, and she always loved to show me off to people. The reason why all of this hurts so bad though, is because this shouldn't have happened to her.
It will be five years in September when my cousin attacked my Nanny. My Nanny raised him, and he had lived with them for the majority of his life. In his teen years he started to get into drugs, and at the time that he attacked my Nanny...he was under the influence of alcohol, Meth, and pain killers. When it was all said and done with, Nanny had bleeding on her brain. The doctors did a surgery on her in which she suffered a stroke during, and we were told that she'd never be anything more than a vegetable. Nanny was in a coma for almost week when we decided that we would take her off of life support. Most of the family had gathered at the hospital, and as we were saying our goodbyes, she began responding to us. It was a miracle that she ever woke up from that. Nanny never walked again, she lost the usage of her left arm, and her speech became slow...but we would have taken anything over her death.
She spent the first year, in and out of nursing homes. My Papa tried to bring her home, and take care of her himself, but he isn't in the best of health either. He had previously suffered from a heart attack, colon cancer, and throat cancer. Not to mention that he is stricken with arthritis. We finally found Nanny a pretty good nursing home in North Carolina, and that's where she has been until today. But Nanny suffered four and a half years because of something my cousin did. Had he not attacked her, she would be alive and well and enjoying Bree.
Her death today, is like having to go through losing her all over again. She was never herself again after the attack, and we all missed her greatly. But now, she's really gone. We can't talk to her, or go visit her. She's gone. It's so hard having to go through this again, and I feel so bad for my Mom and my Papa. I know that if Nanny could, she would smack all of us, tell us to shut up and quit crying. She wouldn't want us missing her so much, and I know that she is in a much better place...but you can't help but miss a person like my Nanny.
I love you Nanny, and I always have. I will forever miss you, and I can't wait until that day that I get to see you again. I love you.
0 comments:
Post a Comment