Friday, July 03, 2009

Personal Trainer?

If I mentioned to my family or friends that I wanted to get a personal trainer to help me get off these last 5 pounds, they would think I'm crazy. Over the past few months, I've dropped a fast ten pounds, but I'm ready to go ahead and get rid of these last five. I've switched my exercise routine to 3 days a week, but somehow I think that working out makes me even more self-conscious about my body. Why? I guess because if I am going to sweating, and working hard at losing weight...I wanna see results, immediately! I know it doesn't work that way, but that's how mind think.

I am fighting against genetics though. There is not a woman in my family who has a flat tummy. Most of us are a little curvy, and although we may have a skinny waist, we have pooch that makes us look heavier. I've always had this pooch, and I can't seem to get rid of it, no matter how hard I've been working at it. This just makes me want to work that much harder against it. Am I chasing an impossible task? I wish that I could just be happy with my body and how far I've come. I have come a long way, but for some reason, it's never good enough. I don't know why. I don't want it to be that way. A year ago, I would have been more than thrilled to have a thin tummy like I do now, but now that I have's not good enough. I think I can do better.

I think maybe it's become an illness for me. I'm obsessed with getting a flat tummy, and that's why I thought today about getting a personal trainer. Maybe it's something I'll do. I'm not sure. Maybe I could just learn to love my curves and my little pooch. Sorry to be griping, but I am having a fat day, and what do you do on fat days? You bitch and moan. That's what I'm doing.

On another note, I hope you all have a safe and Happy 4th of July weekend! Make sure your kids aren't sticking fireworks down their pants =)


MrsM said...

I say this from experience-you will never realize how fabulous you look until you're looking back on it. When Hubby and I met I was 118lbs (underweight for me) and I refused to let him take pictures of me because "ohmygoshIamsohugeIcoulddie".

Uh, yeah. I totally regret THAT.

You look fabulous, and in my personal opinion curves are way better than the alternative.

Samantha said...

Once I put together my before and after pictures, I realized that I'm not as fat as I think I am. But...I don't know if I'll ever be good enough for myself either? It's depressing.