Monday, February 08, 2010

When Valentines Day & Wedding Anniversaries Collide

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I have never really been a fan of Valentines Day. I think it's become a pointless holiday (if you can really call it that). It's just another day to remind the single people that they're single, and to stress out the already married or dating couple. Hubby and I always wonder what we should do for Valentines Day, because our wedding anniversary generally falls a week and a half after Valentines Day (February 24th). Of course we want to put more money and love into our Wedding Anniversary, because let's face it, it is more special than Valentines Day ever thought about being. Last year though, we should have definitely talked things over a little more. On our Anniversary I wound up spending the evening in the bathroom, crying my eye balls out.

On Valentines Day, Paul brought me home some beautiful Daisies (my favorite flower, I hate roses). I smiled and felt so special, because he brought me something home even though we had decided to do more for our Anniversary. I took pictures of the flowers and proudly displayed them on Facebook for all to see. I was so in love with my hubby.

But then came our Anniversary...

I was making us a special Anniversary dinner; breakfast with HUGE pancakes! When he came home from work, I had expected that he would have in hand some flowers, or chocolates or something meaningful. Instead, he walked in with nothing. Nothing! At first, I tried not to get offended. I mean, he had brought home flowers for Valentines Day. But this was our Anniversary, and even though we were going to celebrate it the following weekend...I felt like he should have at least brought me home something.

As I stood there making our special Anniversary breakfast, I felt myself getting angrier and angrier. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. By the time supper was ready, I threw the HUGE pancakes at him, gobbled down my dinner, and went in the other cry. A few minutes later he walked into the room, and actually had the balls to ask what was wrong with me. I told him. It was our Anniversary, and he should have at least brought home something. I wouldn't have cared it was a Hershey Kiss, or a flower that he jerked up out of the yard before he walked in the door. I wouldn't have cared what it was just as long as it was something. He was completely dumbfounded (as most men are), and tried to argue with me. I ended up locking myself in the bathroom, on the floor with my back against the door, using toilet paper as a kleenex, and bawling my bloody eye balls out. Paul stood on the other side of the door, pounding his fist, begging me to come out. I still haven't figured out what good coming out of the bathroom would have done. I could talk just fine through the wood of the door. He still didn't understand what he had done wrong. We were celebrating our Anniversary that weekend, where was the need to bring something home?

After about an hour, he stormed out of the house and went bought some flowers. I took them from him, threw them on the counter and told him that the flowers didn't make any difference now; it didn't mean the same. I know, I was probably being a little bit of a bitch now...but hey...what man doesn't bring something home to his wife on their Wedding Anniversary? My Dad tried to explain to me Paul's train of thought, but in my mind...there was no train of thought.

I'm sure he has learned his lesson from last year's little ordeal...okay maybe it was a BIG ordeal...but we've got things planned out now. This year we will celebrate Valentines Day with dinner and a movie, no gifts (but there better be some flowers in there somewhere), and although our Wedding Anniversary falls on a Wednesday (again, there better be some flowers or chocolate or something)...we will be celebrating it the following weekend in North Carolina.

If I had it to do over, I would have definitely pushed our wedding back another week or so. Heck, maybe I wouldn't have gotten married at all (totally kidding), but the fact's kind of tough having these two "holidays" right next to each other. I imagine that this is how people who share a birthday with Christmas feel. What do you do? So, this is yet another reason why I just don't like Valentines Day. It adds unnecessary stress to my Wedding Anniversary. I hope to not spend my Anniversary, locked in the bathroom and crying my eye balls out, this year. I hope it runs smoother, and I hope that husband of mine brings home something on both occasions.

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Katherine said...

Oh, that would be bad. My husband doesn't buy me flowers. I told him not to after his money became my money, too. :)

I'm with you. A complete Daisies girl.

Ian said...

Two things - wow and if he reads your blog, he won't forget!

Confessions From A Working Mom said...

I have a co-worker who will celebrate her 5th anniversary on Friday. She says the same thing as you-- she wishes she hadn't gotten married so close to the "most romantic day of the year", because her hubby always forgets one or BOTH of the days!

Oh, and about what you said about "Call Of Duty" not being a turnon... seriously? You don't get all hot and bothered watching DH play video games??? ;)

Confessions From A Working Mom

Shell said...

Ours isn't quite as close- its March 8th, but it still feels close to Valentine's Day. We pretty ignore Valentine's Day and do something special for our anniversary.

Robyn{Lee} said...

I say skip Vday all together. Hubs and I agree... it's a stupid holiday (and thank goodness we're not single, because then that date would certianly add more to the suck factor!).

I don't even believe that we exchange anything on that day. I do small things for the kiddos, mostly only because hey, I love all the reds, pinks, and white deocrations all around, and cute lil' cards to buy. And hearts, hearts are pretty.

Enjoy your anniversary though! : ) And guys... totally clueless :)

Shandal said...

Oh man what an awful anniversary being spent in the bathroom crying. Most men just don't understand us! I hope your anniversary is much better this year! My Dad and Stepmom actually got married ON Valentine's Day.

Brandy said...

well i hope he doesn't come home empty handed again!

Miss. Candy said...

Sorry to hear things worked out that way for you! I hope that things improve!!!!

MrsM said...

Does Paul know the stuff in parenthesis (you know, the part where you say there had better be flowers and chocolate and stuff for both Valentines Day and the actual day of your anniversary?) because if you're not sure you probably ought to tell him just in case ;)

Beth P. said...

I'm not quite sure how I would have handled the situation before, or how I'd continue to handle it, but I'm glad you were able to figure out how it is going to work for you.

SkylarKD said...

My daughter's birthday is on Valentine's Day, so we've accepted the fact that we will never have a Valentine's day date ON the holiday until she's old enough to go out on dates herself.

We get so immersed in birthday planning that it's hard to remember to focus on US too!

Poseidon said...
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Kato said...

As someone who shares a birthday with Christmas (Dec 22), everyone around me knows that BOTH days are to be made special, and celebrated into two completely different celebrations.

I hope your hubby come through for you this year! :)

SkippyMom said...

I think you better let your husband know that you expect [demand?] flowers on Valentine's Day too - because he may be thinking a movie/dinner is just fine since you both said "no gifts".

I would hate to see you melt down again.