Thursday, August 20, 2009

"Mommy, WOW! I'm a Big Kid Now!"

I always hated the first morning of school. You could hear my Dad chirping cheerfully through out the house, "School days, school days, wonderful golden rule days..." Of course, those were the only lines he knew of the song. I don't know the rest either, but you can guarantee that he sang the line of that song each morning of the first week of school. It was just more irritating the first day. I always liked school, it was just the people I couldn't stand. I wasn't popular, I wasn't a geek, I wasn't a weirdo, and I wasn't gothic. I was just me. A loner, I guess. I had maybe 2 people that I could call friends. It hadn't always been that way though. At my first Elementary school, I knew just about everyone and everyone knew me. Sure, I would get picked on and stuff, but everyone was mostly friends with everyone. It was a small Elementary School, and most of the parents of the kids I was in school with, went to school with my Parents. It was one of those types of schools and towns.

I miss that little town, and that little school. If I could have lived every day of my life as an Elementary school kid at the school, I would have. Not much went wrong. At that age though, you're more concerned about growing up than you are enjoying the present. I couldn't WAIT to be a 5th grader. 5th graders were the coolest people ever! They were so big and smart and cool! But then when I got there, I wanted to be a 2nd grader again. 5th grade was no fun. I had more responsibilities in my 5th grade classroom. More homework, stricter teachers. It wasn't fun. Being older was no fun at all.

Truthfully, who wouldn't give anything to go back to their childhood? We didn't know how good we had it back then. I would have enjoyed family vacations more, and playing with my siblings more. I wouldn't have worried so much about growing up, and paid more attention to being a kid. When we're kids, we think being older is the "coolest, most awesomest" thing in the world, but then when we get older; it's not as cool or awesome as we thought it would be. We forgot about the responsibility that comes with being older.

Remember when you were in school, and your 5th grade boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with you? Or how about the time your Mom forgot to pack your lunch, so you were forced to eat cafeteria food? What about the time you lost a middle school friend, or someone spread a stupid rumor around about you? We all thought that was the end of the world. We just knew we were going to die. It was over. That was it. No more living. But now that we're older, we compare those "tragedies" to our present tragedies and would give anything to have those childhood tragedies back.

I don't want Bree to be forced into being a big girl too fast. She's already grown up fast enough as it is. I don't want her to feel like she can't wait to be 5, or 10, or 16! I want her to stay a baby. I want her to enjoy it all, because I grew up too fast and I can't get those years back. I don't want Bree to EVER have any regrets.


MrsM said...

You couldn't pay me to return to any moment of my childhood. For any reason. BLECH. I grew up and I'm so glad I did! Still, I do look on the days when Hubby and I first met and think I'd love to visit them. Not relieve them, just kind of browse for old times sake.

And I do hope that we are giving our children a happy enough childhood that they can enjoy the moment and not be in such a hurry to be older.

Samantha said...

I thought about that later after I wrote this, that there are some people who just didn't have very good childhoods. But you're right. I would live to revisit the time when my hubby & I met and were dating. Those were nice times :) Not to say now aren't good either, but they were different before kids.

I do want Bree to not rush into growing up. For her sake.