Pour Your Heart Out - A Bad Haircut

Since Mother's Day is on Sunday (oh crap, you forgot?), I thought that I would dedicate this Pour Your Heart Out to every Mother out there. So, before I get started...if you want to join in on Pour Your Heart Out hosted by the beautiful Shell...just click here to get started!

I know what you're thinking, "Oh God, a sappy post about how great every mother in the world is." Well, not exactly. I actually struggled with the different directions that I could take a Mother's Day post. I could easily make it another sappy, cheesy, tear jerking, and oh I have the best Mother in the world kind of post, or I could attempt to be funny, light hearted, and silly. I chose the latter of the two categories. This is for all of you Mother's out there!

I used to be a fat kid (you can read all about that here), but I bet you didn't know that being chunky wasn't my only malfunction. I also had frizzy, half wavy/half curly hair that happened to be thicker than any rope. My Mom always attempted to help my...and I quote..."...rats nest", by blow drying or using a curling iron on my hair. The thing is, I hated sitting still long enough for her to complete this task and I was so tender headed that the thought of a hair brush cruising through my thick hair made me sick. So, instead, I walked around with pretty hair in the front and a rats nest in the back.

And then one day...

My Dad was sick of hearing my Mother and I scream back and forth at each other about my stupid hair, so he took me on a ride one Saturday afternoon; a ride that ended at the dog groomers barber shop. I swear I could hear my Dad laugh evil mwahahaha's from behind me, as the hair dresser cut my rats nest off and gave me a "butch" hair cut. I'm serious. It was the worst hair cut EVER! There had to have been a better way to fix my dysfunctional hair.

So, here I was: a fat kid, with a really really really short hair cut, a fat face and bangs to help enunciate my fat cheeks.

I'm still devising a plan to get each and every picture made during this Butch Era in my life, and burn them until there is no evidence that I ever looked that bad. As Ian always says, "Pictures or it never happened..."

Nevertheless, this horrible hair cut was a turning point in my relationship with my Mother. I knew that my Mama was capable of doing just about anything. She would cut my hair off, and if I still continued to fuss...she would shave me bald! I learned that my Mother was a sneaky one, willing to do anything just to prove a point.

Back then...I thought she was just mean.

But now, I understand. Sometimes, as a Mother, you gotta do what you gotta do to make a point to your kids. If this means telling them something that would only happen in a horror movie, to keep them from killing themselves...then do it. If you have to protect your precious chocolate stash by telling them that they'll fall over and die if they eat it...then do it. If you have to pull over on the side of the road to show them a dead cat, and then tell them that this is what will happen to them if they don't stop going too close to the road...then do it! I know it may sound a bit harsh, but like I said...sometimes you just have to.

So, if you're a mother, I want you to sit back and smile this Mother's Day as you think of all of the crazy things you have told your kids to keep them out of trouble and danger. Take a sip of your wine coffee, and whisper to yourself with a grin, "Happy Mother's Day you manipulative b#$!%"